I don’t know where to even begin: disgust, glee, or gratitude? In another no-longer shocking and totally par-for-the-course “revelation”, another evangelical luminary of the party of family values has decided to resign from congress after admitting to having an extra-marital affair. *YAWN*

This Man is an Idiot

In case you don’t recognize the face, this is Mark Souder, a dip-shitty ex-congressman from my home town of Indiana’ 3rd District.  I have had the opportunity to loath this man since he was first elected in 1994 when he ran on a signed pledge that he would not run for more than 2 terms. For you non-math majors, that was 14 years, or 7 congressional terms ago. So the fact that he is a bold-face liar is matter of public fact.

His claim to fame on the national front was that he authored the heroically stupid “Aid Elimination Penalty” amendment, which was signed into law in 1998. His amendment made it so anyone convicted of a drug-related offense would lose any federal student loans and never be able to get them again. Obviously the best way to prevent people from becoming deadbeat junkies is to create additional barriers to education and chances to better yourself. I like my druggies to be college drop outs!

As per wiki, the law has affected 200,000+ students. So you can thank Mr. Souder for those many more people who won’t be competing on the global market. Hurray for being owned by China!

He was Tempted

Anyhoots, the self-professed staunch supporter of abstinence education, family values, and the Bible admitted that he had an extra-marital affair yesterday. In his statement to the press, he blamed “the poisonous environment of Washington, D.C.” for his failing. Which is funny (on so many levels) because I believe most of the affair happened in Indiana, far away from Washington, D.C.

More importantly, he did it because he was tempted. He is a good person, but the “poisonous environment”  got the better of him. If it were not for that woman leading him on to sin, his wife and three children would have been spared.

I wonder, does Mark think all women are sluts and temptresses; or just the ones he gets caught with? That is assuming that this even was a women. Just wait for the other republican shoe to drop and it terns out to have been a meth-head rent-a-boy!

She is a Hero

Take a good look at the face. Either rent-a-boy or Congressional Cougar, this person had to have sex with the man with that face! Thanks to her staunch bravery during what I am sure was a horrifying ordeal, America has been spared of having this idiot stay in office. She is an American Hero!

Why He Sucks

People like Mark know that they cannot be trusted around temptation.

Mark claims to be a devout Christian. He believes in an all knowing sky-lord who takes the time in his busy schedule of running the universe to check upon and punish the moral failings of every single man, women, and child upon this planet. But despite Mark’s strong belief in his ever watchful sky-lord, he could not help himself.

So people like Mark want to pass lots of laws that will make his morality a legal requirement for everyone. No one should talk about sex in schools, else you might be tempted like Mark was. In addition to religious faith, people like Mark need police to keep them on the straight and narrow and they think the rest of America need the police too.

I no longer live in Indiana. I live in the big city where I could partake in affairs, drugs, crime, and a variety of legal and illegal vices on an hourly basis if I wanted; however, probably like most of the people in the big city; we simply get up, walk our dogs, kiss loved ones good-bye, work long hours, come home, and take care of our homes, sleep and repeat. We manage to navigate a world of temptation without needing the police or sky-lords to keep us in check.

I resent people like Mark punishing us all for his weaknesses. People who want anti-vice laws are people who cannot be trusted around vices. I especially resent how when he does screw up, he acts like he is a victim of the big nasty city because he knows that will play well in Indiana’s 3rd District.

Side Note

I honestly could care less about most politician’s personal lives. It isn’t that power corrupts, but it attracts  corruptible people. If we dig deep enough, most of the men and women in power have dirty personal secrets. If they don’t yet, then the temptation and the power to indulge will probably get to them eventually.

For the most part, I don’t believe that these personal moral failing translate to being a bad person for public office. However, and this is a big “however”, if your public life is based upon passing moral judgment, you have little left to stand on when your morality is shown to be fake. If you were an amazing statesmen with a carrier that stood upon great works, then when your morality fails you can still stand upon your works.

Mark has no great works. He is standing as a naked hypocrite. Well, he has been standing that way since his 3rd term, but now it is too glaring for even him to ignore.