+ =?

I have bitten my tongue for far too long. It was an abusive relationship from the start. Tim had left me, Heidi was no longer calling, and Nina had grown bored. I was lonely. I was weak. It was a mistake, I know it. I always knew it.

But I have needs too! So now I do the walk of shame as I wait for next Thursday’s “The Fashion Show.”

It’s bad. It’s twice the guilt and half the pleasure of Project Runway, and I am being generous. Like all jilted lovers on the rebound, I so wanted this one to work out, but despite its monumental failings, it has its redeeming qualities. So I present to you, what to love and what to hate about “The Fashion Show”:

Reco: we love him. He is the audacity of Christian plus the hidden sweatshop of Terri. He must have smuggled in a staff from American Apparel, because he is cranking out clothes like he was the nation of China. While most contestants are still fidgeting their fabric out of the bag; he is done, working on a hat, taking a nap, and fixing the national budget. (Thank God someone is!)

Editors Gone Wild! The FS editors all failed their auditions for “A Shot of Love with Tia Tequila.” They are sloppy. Instead of the slick documentary style that That Better Show spoiled us with, we get treated to Jerry Spring-esque attempts at in your face reaction shots. Minor things like using shots that you just saw as teaser for the upcoming part after the commercial, look amateur. (Duh, I just saw that. You’re not fooling me.) Then they get crazy with the reaction shot. Judge X is about to say something critical, cut to Reco looking stunned, cut to Johnny looking disenfranchised, cut to Daniella looking smug, cut back to Reco looking longingly, cut to Issac looking fat. It is seriously like that scene from the “Rocky Horror Picture Show:” Rocky! Janet! Brad! Rockey! Janet! Brad!

The Challenges: trying not to be too blatant of a rip-off of That Better Show, The FS runs more like “Top Chef.” Their combo of quick challenges and elimination challenges have been fun. Some of them, like design for a high school clique, may be gimmicky and not high fashion, but you get to see how creative people address an unexpected challenge.  Other ones, like design an outfit for a high end shoe, are actually inspired compared to the second trip to make an outfit from a grocery store. (Sorry, Tim). Either way, you still get the thrill of trying to figure out how someone pulls an entire outfit out of 14 meager hours.

The Hosts: If Issac had it his way, The FS would be a one man show. Between dressing like a sausage in a too tight skin and a prison convict staging a musical, he manages to sink what little credibility this show would have. His basic MO is to say something dizzyingly inappropriate to whomever is doing best prior to judging (You’re sizest, I don’t get this.) Whoever he seems to send into a self-doubt jag usually ends up in the top, but he is just jealous of them anyways. Poor sweet Kelly. You were hanging out with a more legitimate designer when you were hanging with Beyonce’s mom. Speaking of Kelly, why the hell is she on a fashion show anyways?

So faults aside, I don’t have enough pride to wait for That Other Show to start up again, or shame to stop watching. So see you Thursday rebound lover.